


Book XIII: Death

by DarkeShayde



Series: The Arcana: A Retelling [13]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Dimension Travel, Discovery, F/M, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kissing, Magic, Memory Loss, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Other, Past Character Death, Plague, Recovered Memories, Resurrection, Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 04:50:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17822219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkeShayde/pseuds/DarkeShayde
Summary: Shayde collapses on the way back to the Palace after Julian’s hanging. Meanwhile, Julian talks with the Hanged Man in his realm and regains his missing memories. When Portia pulls Shayde back to the waking world, they learn someone has taken Julian’s body. They rush to get him back before it’s too late.





	Book XIII: Death

The rope goes taut. Around me, the crowd surges, screaming and cheering and weeping, but all I can hear is a dull roar. My own heartbeat pounding rapidly in my ears. The only thing that breaks through my shock is the thought of Julian. I need to get to him. _Now_. Clarity returns to me in a rush. I try to fight my way through the crowd, but the press of people is beyond suffocating. I can’t get close. Out of nowhere, someone grabs my arm. Before I can yank my arm away, a familiar voice reaches me.

“I’m so glad I found you!” Portia gasps out. “This crowd is impossible. We need to get out of this mess and back to the Palace. That’s where … where they’ll take him. C’mon, we should be there when he wakes up.” I nod, but can’t seem to form words right now. She leads me away from the square, but as I follow her, a wave of exhaustion washes over me. Not surprising considering the events of the last couple of days. I stumble against the wall, my knees giving out. My heart pounds painfully in my chest.

“Shayde!” Darkness eats over my vision, and Portia’s concerned voice fades away. When I come back to myself, I’m floating in a vast, starry void. This must be a dream. I drift vaguely downwards, buoyed in a peaceful haze. There’s something I should be worried about, but right now, everything seems so far away. My feet touch down on a solid surface. I find myself standing on an island made of stardust … I’m not alone. I sense a familiar presence behind me. Curious, I turn around. It’s Julian, standing on another island. He’s staring off into the distance, looking confused. If the plan worked … then he’d be at the boundary between realms. Here, where I am. I call out, but though the void swallows my voice, he turns. He reaches out to me, across the gulf. Our islands are drifting apart, but maybe … maybe I can reach him. I strain just a little more. When I take his hand, he pulls me in, until we’re both standing on the same sparkling plain.

“Shayde, is … is it really you?” Julian asks, holding me close. I could ask him the same thing. I reach up to touch his cheek; his skin is cool, but solid under my fingers.

“I’m glad to see you.” Julian goes on. “See, I keep meaning to ask you a question. And I … even now, I still want to know the answer. Where, uh. Where do you see us going? I mean, I say ‘we’, a-and we’ll be together, I hope, but … I don’t know if I ever figured out … where to go. Who to be. The adventurer, or the neighborhood hero? So I guess I’m asking … what do you think, when you think of us? What kind of future do you want?” I recall what Mazelinka said when Julian was in that cell under the Coliseum, about tales the bards would sing and I know my answer.

“A life of adventure.” I blink, and suddenly, I’m standing on the deck of a boat. Julian stands beside me, shading his eyes.

“Well, Shayde, wind’s on our side today. Let’s see …” Julian begins. “There’s an island with a lovely port city about a day’s sailing from here. I’ve been to a lot of rowdy places … but Port Tremaire might be the rowdiest.” I hear my own voice laugh.

“It’s been a while since I’ve rescued you from a bar fight, hasn’t it?” I ask. Julian gives me a scandalized look, though I can see the humor in his eye.

“Hey, now, I was winning that fight!” He argues. “And the one before that … and the one before _that_.” He grins, slinging an arm around my shoulders, as I continue to laugh.

“Whatever you say, Julian.” I reply. I blink, and snow crunches underneath my feet. There’s an icy bite in the air. When I shiver, Julian’s arm tightens around me. We’re standing at the peak of a mountain. Below us, around us, as far as I can see, snowcapped mountains stretch towards the sky. The view is nothing short of breathtaking. Every time I blink, I see a glimpse of something new. Buildings carved from translucent marble ring with the sound of a thousand voices, raised in song. A spice vendor smokes lazily as Julian tries to coax out a better price. A fathomless blue ocean stretches around our ship, its serene surface broken by pillars and sculptures of pristine ice. New shores and unfamiliar faces flash by me, faster and faster. But, no matter what, Julian is always there, with me. Chasing the horizon. It’s simply … perfect. My eyes drift closed. And when I open them again, I’m back in that starry void. Alone.

That dream … was it a dream? Or a vision? A hope? One by one, the stars wink out around me, and- I surface with a splash, blinking water from my eyes. I look around at the familiar trees, water, and gloomy atmosphere. Is this …? It is. I’m back in the Hanged Man’s realm. I still don’t see anything like a path. There’s nothing to do but get up and start walking. It seems darker and quieter without Julian here with me. I miss him, his jokes and his stories, his encouragement. If the plan worked, I’ll find him here. I’m sure of it. I hold onto that precious thought, and let it pull me onward.

Behind me, something rustles. I whirl around, my senses on high alert. It’s just a vine, slipping off the branch of a gnarled tree and into the water … Wait. There wasn’t a tree there before. Just like the first time I was here, the trees come to life, swaying and groaning as they grasp at me. Branches and roots seize me once again, coiling around my limbs and lifting me into the air. I kick and flail, trying to get loose. The more I struggle, the tighter they squeeze around my arms and legs. Just like last time … With that thought, I stop fighting the vines. I’m tired enough I can’t summon the energy to fight anyway.

When I stop moving, so do the branches. I close my eyes and breathe, trying to calm my heart rate. For a long minute, I hang there, absolutely still. Then, with a wooden groan, the branches start moving, carrying me through the forest and into the fog. The trees around me sway, the susurrus of leaves filling my senses. It almost sounds approving. Well, I’m glad I … pleased the … trees? I guess. I wonder where they are taking me. Finally, the branches set me down on dry land, next to a clearing. The fog is as thick and impenetrable as a wall around the clearing. But inside the ring of roots and branches, the air is perfectly clear. A tall, thin lantern on a spindly, black pole casts a pool of light. Within it, Julian kneels, holding his head in his hands. I call out to him, but the fog swallows my voice. He doesn’t react. Across from Julian stands a motionless figure. I’d know him anywhere.

“I see you’re here at last.” The Hanged Man says. He turns his head to that one beady eye is visible to me, and winks.

“… Urgh …” Julian groans. I can see the mark on his throat, flaring dimly in the gloom that makes up this realm. I’m not sure if that is a good sign or … not.

“You memories should be returning now.” The Hanged Man goes on. Julian gets to his feet, wavering unsteadily. I can almost see the gears turning rapidly in his mind, trying to process his regained memories.

“What … the _hell?_ ” Julian growls. “I … this is … It can’t be. It’s impossible.” What? What is impossible? It is beyond annoying standing on the outside and eavesdropping in. I wish I could get through this fog.

“Not only is it possible, it’s the truth.” Replies the Hanged Man.

“… All this time I … I thought I’d murdered the Count. I thought I was coming back to face justice. Even when I learned the truth, when I discovered my innocence … I knew that wasn’t the whole story.” Julian says.

“You remembered some of what happened that night, but you were still missing a piece.” The Hanged Man states, as casually as if he is discussing the weather. “The answer to a vital question. Why? Why were you going to Lucio’s room?”

“To kill him.” Snarls Julian. “And the only reason I didn’t, is … because I didn’t get there in time? But why? Why would I want to …?” Suddenly, Julian freezes, his eye wide in shock, like he has discovered something important.

“Ah, there it is.” The Hanged Man muses. Julian holds his trembling hands in front of his face, staring at them in horror.

“He … he was …?” Julian barely breathes out the words. “He was the source of the plague? All those years … all those people dead … it was because of _him?_ ” Julian’s horrified disbelief has melted into pure fury at the Count.

“Lucio’s existence was tied to the existence of the plague.” The Hanged Man confirmed. “Wherever he went, it followed. When he settled in Vesuvia, so did the plague.”

“And killing him would have stopped it. That’s what you told me, that night three years ago. That’s the cure.” Julian concludes. “… Heh. When I said he was a plague on the city, I didn’t realize I was being literal. But that means, if the plague is coming back … So is he. He’s … he’s coming back? How? How would he do that?” Julian lifts his eye to the figure across the clearing. The Hanged Man shrugs, feathers ruffling languidly.

“You have a plan to come back to life, don’t you?” He asks in answer to Julian’s rapid fired questions.

“This …?” He touches his throat, where the mark pulses faintly. A flash of recognition crosses his expression. “This mark is … It’s … from you. I-I made a deal with you. I gave up the memories I didn’t want, for the power to heal. You mean, Lucio made a deal to come back? He made a deal with you?” The Hanged Man shakes his head.

“I’m not the only one capable of making deals. There are others.” He says by way of explanation. “But ‘who?’ is a question you’ll have to answer on your own. Now you know everything I can tell you. The rest is up to you.” There is silence for a few long minutes, before Julian clears his throat.

“So, uh. What now? Are you going to send me back so I can tell everyone the cure?” He asks uncertainly.

“Not quite.”

“No? Are you going to judge me first? Decide whether I’m worthy?” Julian quips, but I can see that he is concerned about the possibility. The Hanged Man laughs raucously.

“Didn’t I just say the rest was up to you?” He asks. “Indecision … introspection … inaction. They can only serve you for so long. You stand between realms, at a crossroads. Only you can decide where to go now.”

“Only I can …? Then lay it out for me. What’re my options?” Julian replies.

“Your mark has just enough power left to return you to the living realm. Then it will disappear for good.” The Hanged Man explains. “Or you can stay here, in my realm. The cure will reach the people who need to know it.” Again, he winks at me. I feel a cold rush go through me thinking that Julian could decide to stay here. It may be selfish of me, but I want him to come back. I want those adventures.

“There is much you could learn from me.” He adds. Julian is insatiably curious and an offer like that could very well make him decide that we would be better off if he didn’t come back. Julian starts pacing in the pool of light.

“So, I have to decide whether to stay, or go?” He asks. “That’s … heh, that puts me between the devil and the deep blue sea, doesn’t it?”

“How so?” Asks the Hanged Man.

“It’s, um. Hm. If I go back … and that costs me this mark … Then I … I won’t be able to heal people any more.” Julian says.

“You’re a doctor, aren’t you?” The Hanged Man laughs.

“Well, yes, but … But leeches can only do so much. Half the time they don’t do anything at all.” Julian answers. “This mark … it really is better than any medical treatment I know. Didn’t matter how fatal the poison or how high the fever. With this, I could cure anyone.”

“And without it?” The Hanged Man prompts.

“I … I don’t know. I couldn’t even find the plague cure on my own. I needed you to tell me. Killing Lucio? Anyone could’ve done that. Asra. Nadia. Hell, some of his courtiers were just waiting for a good opportunity. Even once I knew the cure … I didn’t get there in time. I wasn’t the one to stop him. And now … What good is a plague doctor when there’s no more plague? What good am I?” Julian wonders. My heart aches for him. I stretch my hand out towards him, but I can’t push through the thick fog. I can’t reach him. As if noticing the motion, the Hanged Man glances sidelong at me, and just barely shakes his head. His meaning is clear. This is a decision Julian has to make on his own.

“So let’s say I do this. I go back. I deliver the cure.” Julian begins. I allow myself to hope just a little, but brace myself for the possibility of loss.

“Then what?” Asks the Hanged Man. Julian stops pacing, staring into the fog.

“Then … then I …” He trails off.

“Do you even have a plan for what you’ll do afterwards?” The Hanged Man asks next.

“All this time, I thought I was coming back to Vesuvia to pay for my crimes.” Julian explains. “After? I didn’t think ‘after’ was on the table.” He has said as much before, but it still breaks my heart to hear him say that he came back, basically to die.

“Here, things remain the same. There, everything is changing. The future is shrouded in uncertainty.” The Hanged Man says. “So what will you do when you reach the precipice?”

“What’ll I do?” Julian laughs. “What I always do. Find trouble. Drag everyone down with me. Run away. Lose sleep over it. Find a new trouble. Story of my life. And I’ll … I’ll hurt people again. I know I will. Pasha. Mazelinka. I wasn’t there for them. And I … I wasn’t there for Shayde. If I stay, I’ll be abandoning her again. But if I go back … will I do any better? Will I ever be better? Or will I just find another transgression, another crime to hang for? Another way to fail her?” A creeping dread takes root in my chest. Its icy tendrils wind through my ribs. What is he talking about?

“Shayde … You’re regaining those memories too, then.” The Hanged Man observes. I get the impression that every question he asks, every statement he makes, is leading Julian to what he needs to hear. Towards the things he needs to realize.

“I … When I met her, I thought she seemed familiar. I had no idea I was right.” Julian says … What? Had we met before? It is more than possible since I can’t remember anything before around three years ago. Right around the time all this was happening.

“You weren’t strangers after all, were you?” The Hanged Man asks.

“I knew her, three years ago. I took her on as an apprentice at my clinic, even.” Julian recalls. “But when she needed me, I wasn’t there. I was so wrapped up in finding a cure. I didn’t even know she was sick.” _What?_  “I didn’t know until it was too late that … that she’d died. Oh, Shayde …” … When … When I …? Shock numbs my lips and steals my strength. I stand motionless as I struggle to absorb Julian’s words. We knew each other. We knew each other, until I … I died of the plague. Even as my conscious mind tries to reject the possibility … I know. I can feel it in my bones, in my blood, in the headache building at my temples, in the scream locked in my chest. In the howling silence when I try to remember my past. It’s the truth.

“… I know what I want to do.” Julian announces, breaking into my panicked trance and bringing my attention back to here and now.

“Are you sure?” The Hanged Man asks. “You can take as long as you want.”

“I don’t need more time. I’ve made up my mind.” Julian says with a shake of his head. I wait for his decision, but a sudden pull yanks me away from the clearing, into the fog … and back to the waking world. It takes me a moment to regain my bearings. I’m in my guest room at the Palace, and Portia is shaking me.

“Shayde, I’m so glad you’re awake!” She says, her voice has an undertone of panic that catches my attention right away. “I-I’m sorry, I wanted to let you rest after you collapsed, but … But …! Ilya’s body is … it’s gone! Someone took it!” I kick off the covers, adrenaline surging in my veins.

“What happened?” I demand grabbing Portia by the shoulders, whether to stabilize her or me I don’t know.

“Milady gave orders for a guard to take him to another guest room.” Portia explains. “But the guard says … she says she was ambushed! And when she woke up, he was gone!” A mixture of bewilderment and fear root me to the spot. Who could have done such a thing? Why? Before I can say anything, I’m startled by a _whumpf_ as something slams into the window. I scramble to the window. As soon as I open it, Malak comes screaming into the room. Squawking frantically, he flies in a tight circle around me, then shoots out through the open door and down the Palace hallway. It can’t be a coincidence that he’s here. Intuition urges me after him, Portia on my heels.

Portia and I follow Malak through the Palace halls, towards … the library. A cold realization coalesces in the pit of my stomach. I know where he’s heading. And I know who, or perhaps I should say _what_ , is responsible for Julian’s disappearance. Increasing my pace, I hurry through the library, behind the bookcase, and down the stairs towards the dungeon with Portia right behind me. When we reach the elevator, the cage is already open. Someone’s been here, recently. I knew it. That _monster!_

“Ready when you are, Shayde! Let’s go rescue my brother!” Portia says, ever the cheerleader. And right now, I need that. She doesn’t have to tell me twice. We squeeze into the elevator together, and I pull the lever. Once we reach the bottom, we sprint through the eerie hallway and the prep room, and I shove open the metal doors to the dungeon. As I feared, Valdemar is standing on the stage in the center, scalpel poised … Over Julian’s torso. Oh, _hell_ no.

“Oh? What’s this?” Valdemar asks. “Have you come for the show?” I don’t waste my breath trying to reason with them. I snatch up the nearest object, a jar of mummified leeches, and hurl it at Valdemar. They sway in place, and the jar flies past them and into the wall.

“Now, now, I’m only … Oh. Oh, my.” Valdemar pauses as, on the table, Julian’s body convulses. My heart feels like it’s about to leap into my throat. He came back!

“How interesting.” Valdemar declares, voice devoid of anything even resembling emotion. “It seems, Doctor 069, that you have failed to die … Not once, but twice. Let’s see if you can do it again.” Valdemar stabs downward with the scalpel, but Julian lurches out of the way and off the table. As he moves, his legs give out. Crumpling to the ground, he grabs Valdemar’s arm, dragging them off-balance.

“Now, Shayde!” Julian calls. “Blast them!” With pleasure. Adrenaline surges in my veins yet again. I grab hold of the feeling, twist it to my will, and pour it into a spell. A bolt of pure force streaks across the room, directly at Valdemar. At the last moment, Julian lets go and dives away. The spell impacts with a _crack_ , and Valdemar goes sprawling near the door.

“Yeah! Get out of here, you, you snake oil dispenser! Scram!” Portia seizes a spindly-legged chair, and rushes Valdemar with a yell. Screaming and cawing, Malak dives at their face, talons outstretched. Valdemar stumbles back under the onslaught. Together, Portia and Malak chase them out of the dungeon.

“Shayde, it, it is you, right?” Julian’s voice brings my attention back to him in a heartbeat. “I’m not … I’m not dead? It worked?” Julian staggers to his feet, swaying unsteadily even as he reaches for me. I rush to his side to support him, and he sags against me in relief. The words tumble out of me.

“You, you’re alive, you’re _alive_ -”

“I am? Are you sure, Shayde? Maybe you should check.” Julian teases. A girl can’t ask for a better invitation than that. I surge forward, wrapping my arms around him. His laughter is warm against my lips. A giddy rush of adrenaline leaves me trembling, holding onto his shoulders to stay upright. He wavers unsteadily, and then falls back onto the table, dragging me with him. Flinging his hand out to brace himself, he knocks over a case of tools with a clatter. We both ignore it. Our lips meet again and again, and he makes a sound that’s equal parts relief and longing. He restlessly runs his hands over my back, up to the nape of my neck, down to my hips and I revel in the feeling. To have him here, to hear him breathe, to feel his heart beating with mine … I’m dizzy with joy. Or maybe that’s just the effect he has on me.

“Mm, Shayde …” Julian groans. I kiss him again and again, and he returns each kiss fervently. Finally, we part for a much needed breath. When I look down at him, my breath catches. His smile is soft, full of wonder, and unreservedly happy. I’ve never seen him smile like that before, but I would very much like to again. As many times as possible.

“I’m sorry if I worried you, Shayde.” Julian says. Way to ruin the moment, darling.

“ _If?_ ” I demand, allowing some of my annoyance to color my tone.

“Uh oh. I know the sound of an impending lecture when I hear one.” He says with a laugh. He ought to by now. As much as I’d like to tell him just what’s on my mind … There’s something else we have to discuss, first.

“Julian … we do need to talk.” I tell him.

“Uh oh. That didn’t go well when _I_ said it.” Julian observes. Nonetheless, he lets go of me so I can climb off of him. I offer him a hand, and he pulls himself to his feet. “But you’re right. And I have something to tell you, too. Why don’t we go … in here?” Julian opens the door to his office, and we duck inside. It’s just as I left it just yesterday, books scattered from my search for answers. Julian arranges and rearranges the books and papers restlessly, more to occupy himself than anything else.

“So … um, so. Well, it worked. I met the Hanged Man, got the rest of my memories back, got my cure, and …” Julian begins. “Listen, uh, just stay calm and listen to me, okay? I found out that … that …” For a long moment, he struggles, unable to get the words out. Honestly, he is handling this better than I thought he would. I half expected him to find a way to hide me away so that I would be safe. Maybe he needs a little help.

“… That you knew me, and I died?” I offer.

“… Wh … how did …? I was psyching myself up to tell you that and you already knew?” Julian asks in surprise. I shake my head.

“I didn’t know. Not until today.” I answer. He gapes at me, still stunned. I decide to tell him now. This way he doesn’t have to explain it all. “I saw you, in the Hanged Man’s realm. I couldn’t call out to you. I couldn’t reach you, but … I heard everything.”

“Then, that, that means … huh. Are you … are you okay?” Julian asks. A reasonable question, all things considered. I pause for a moment to think about it.

“I will be. I just … need some time to make sense of it.” I reply. Part of my mind is still screaming, still refusing to accept the truth. A small part in the back of my mind wonders why I didn’t figure it out before. But someday, sooner or later, I know I’ll be able to handle it.

“I … I want to show you something.” Julian says. He looks over the desk, then presses a hidden button on its underside. I’m surprised when a hidden drawer pops out. He plucks a sheaf of folded paper from inside, and offers it to me. I unfold it carefully, mindful of the delicate paper. And then nearly drop it in shock. This isn’t his handwriting. It’s . The letter itself is brief, a report about plague victims dated three years ago.

“I found this last time I was here. I thought … Well, I wasn’t sure what to think.” Julian tell me. “I wasn’t sure if it was a civilian’s report or if we actually knew each other. And then, when the Hanged Man gave me my memories back, I … I finally remembered. Shayde … I’m sorry. You needed me and I wasn’t there. I failed you. What if … if something happens again?” Ah, there is the worry I had been expecting. But this is still a better reaction than he would have had before.

“You can’t save everyone.” I reply gently. With the sheer number of people who fell afoul of the plague … Perhaps it’s not really surprising that I was one of them. Especially since I was working at the clinic.

“But you were working at my clinic.” Julian argues. “You were helping _me_. And I did nothing.” I’m not going to listen to his ‘reasons’ why this is all his fault. What was he supposed to do? The plague killed in a couple days, less time if the person was of ill health already.

“It was my decision. My choice, for better or worse.” I retort. “Besides, you weren’t doing nothing. You were here, working to find a cure. Nobody could blame you for that.”

“Nobody but me.” He replies. “… But you … you’re not blaming me.” Julian gives me an appraising look.

“No.” I assure him.

“I can’t be responsible for everyone … huh?” Something like wonder dawns on his face, in his voice. It seems like my words have gotten through. But there’s a weight in my chest. An uncomfortable question that I just can’t dislodge. Julian notices my discomfort.

“What is it, Shayde?”

“Something’s bothering me.” I tell him, debating how I want to go about bringing this up, but apparently Julian has been thinking along the same lines that I have been.

“You too, huh? If you really died …” He begins.

“… Then how am I alive now?” I finish his thought.

“I wish I knew, Shayde. Bringing someone back to life is, well … I can’t say impossible, considering _I_ just came back to life, but it’s not exactly common, is it?” Julian muses. A memory flickers in the back of my mind. Something I heard once.

“Everything is possible, as long as you are willing to pay the price.” I say, my voice low.

“Shayde?” Julian questions, looking at me carefully.

“Asra … Asra told me that.” I reply. The earliest memory I have is of Asra’s face. If anyone will know what happened, it’s him.

“Then let’s go find him. I think it’s time he told us the truth.” Julian declares. “I’m going to need to get an eyepatch before we leave, though. Don’t want anyone thinking I’m contagious. I wonder if the Countess can get me a spare.” I laugh when he grins at me and I follow him out of his office. It’s a relief to leave that dungeon behind us, hopefully for the last time. I steel myself for the search. I don’t even know where Asra is. Maybe …?

“Shayde! Ilya, you made it back!” Asra’s voice breaks through my thoughts. Well … that was frighteningly easy. We turn to fight him striding down the hall towards us.

“Asra? We were just about to go looking for you!” Julian says.

“You were looking for me? I was looking for you.” Asra says, his expression showing his surprise. “We … we have a problem.”


End file.
